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Q What is the difference between separation and divorce?
A A separation occurs when one or both spouses decide to live separate and apart. A divorce occurs when an order is signed by a judge under the federal law called a Divorce Act (Canadian law), upon application by either party.
Q What do I have to do if we've decided to separate?
A You will probably want to work out issues pertaining to division of assets & liabilities, and address spousal support with your spouse.
Q We have children - how will this affect a separation?
A Prior to actually separating or once you're separated you should deal with your spouse in relation to any issues concerning your child or children, such as custody, access and child support. We also recommend creating a co-parenting plan.
Q Do we have to use the terms "custody" and "access?"
A The Divorce Act uses these terms currently. Use of these terms is under federal review. Specific interpretations of these terms is available at the legal information sites provided elsewhere on this website. See the "links" page.
Q I notice the term co-parenting on this website. What does that mean?
A Philosophically and professionally we believe it is the right and responsibility of both parents to be involved in making decisions about their child or children and support every effort to build a strong, collaborative co-parenting plan. Being a parent is a life-long commitment and we'd like to help you plan for that.
Q We are not married but have lived together for several years. Do we need to go through this process?
A If you have assets and/or liabilities (debts) its a good idea to have a written understanding of these issues will be resolved upon your separation. If there are dependent children you should make plans regarding child support, custody, access and a co-parenting plan.
Q We are in a same-sex relationship. How will a separation affect us.
A As noted above, if you have acquired assets and/or debts or if there are dependent children involved in this relationship you should make a written agreement outlining how these issues will be dealt with.
Q How do we do this?
A You can negotiate the terms of your separation using mediation, litigation or arbitration. Utilizing a mediator, you may prepare a "draft" Memorandum of Understanding, also known as minutes of a settlement, which details the arrangements you have agreed on. (See seeking legal advice above).
Q Why chose mediation over litigation or arbitration?
A
1) The mediation process is a private one.
2) It is significantly less costly because you are paying one set of fees (plus the occasional legal fee when you think you need legal advice) not two fees if you were to use lawyers, for example.
3) It is a speedy process, usually taking a few weeks rather than several months or years.
4) You (the parties) determine the outcome and are in control of decision-making.
5) It's less stressful because although the process is managed for you by a mediator it is informal.
6) In mediation the parties are encouraged to work on the problems not on each other.
7) When an on-going relationship is required, for example, when you have children or other family situations mediation helps build good communication now and for the future.
Q How much time is involved?
A Once the mediation process begins, appointments, which are two hours each are scheduled by mutual agreement, allowing time for you to obtain any information you need, etc., and typically three or four appointments are needed. The final appointment is a one-hour review of the draft Memorandum of Understanding document prior to a hard copy be provided for each party.
Q You mention mediation being less costly. How much does it cost and how do we pay?
A Please telephone our office (604-581-3476) and we will provide you with our fee structure. Mediation fees are due and payable at the end of each mediation appointment in cash or by cheque.
Q Do I have to have a lawyer?
A Family mediators do not give legal or financial advice (and family law lawyers do not mediate and give legal advice at the same time!), therefore you each should obtain independent legal advice from a family law lawyer to obtain legal advice regarding your rights and responsibilities.
Q Is a Memorandum of Understanding reached in mediation binding?
A After satisfying yourself that you understand and agree to solutions reached in mediation, and consulting with independent legal counsel, the document needs to be witnessed upon signing and is then a binding contract. Family mediators do not witness the signing of this document. Additonal information on alternatives to making a contract binding is available at the legal information sites noted on this website.
Q What if we don't get along, can't even be in the same room without arging? What if there are trust issues?
A The mediation process itself and the skills of our family mediator help parties stay focused and working toward a fair an acceptable outcome. The mediator provides guidelines and has you sign an Agreement to Mediate form, which includes an acknowledgement and statement that all pertinent information will be shared. If at any time either party or the mediator thinks this isn't happening the mediation process can be terminated and other action taken.
Q What if there has been verbal or physical abuse?
A While there is no place for either verbal or physical abuse in the mediation process we recognize that under such stressful circumstances individuals may resort, in varying degrees, to either behaviour. The mediation process gives both parties hope for the future, reduces stress as personal and financial issues are addressed and solutions worked on, allowing for a more respectful relationship. However, we do not take threats lightly and once the mediation process is underway the parties are obligated to reveal any further incidents so the mediator can determine whether the process should be halted and ligation undertaken.
Q How do we begin and what does the mediator do?
A After receiving a telephone call from one party, the mediator will carry out a telephone consultation with each party, answer any additional questions, set up your jointly agreed upon first appointment and after that, keep you informed with summary session notes, recommendations for papers, information or documents needed as progress is made, to complete the minutes of settlement. These services are also significant in keeping costs down.
Q What about qualifications and standards?
A Please visit (LINK) to view the portfolio of our senior mediator, Donna Bond. Donna is a long-standing member of Family Mediation Canada, our national alternate dispute resolution organization and is covered under special professional mediation liability insurance.
In the End...
The successful conclusion of your assisted negotiations rests with the parties involved. Mediation is not a process to manipulate others. We've outlined the benefits of mediation in this section - and there are many!
Sometimes people are able to resolve all but one or two issues, which must be dealt with in other arenas (if legal issues, by consulting with a lawyer or if relationship conflicts, with a therapist or counsellor when a co-parenting plan needs to be included, if a financial issue, with a financial advisor). However, many times having the opportunity to sit down with a mediator providing the communication framework, you're able to say what's on your mind, talk about your ideas and opinions regarding future plans for yourself (and your child or children) in a safe environment which is invaluable. | 
FAQ's
